


Sunshine

by Falling_Starr626



Category: Cow Chop, The Creatures (Youtube RPF)
Genre: Eating Disorders, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Lots of Mental Issues, M/M, Out of Character, Panic Attacks, Pre Cow Chop, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, You May Shed A Tear or Two, then happy, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-04 21:47:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11563980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Falling_Starr626/pseuds/Falling_Starr626
Summary: This is one of the Chapters in a one shot book I made. It was set when everyone was still apart of the Creatures. It was one of the most popular one shots of the book and I thought I would post a few here on this site. Features NovaHD and Aleks has a lot of issues, so HUGE trigger warning guys. Seriously, don't read if you can't handle it.Hope you enjoy.





	Sunshine

James was the first to notice. How wouldn't he? The last time Aleks was slowly destroying himself, James came home from the office, finding Aleks as a sobbing and bleeding mess in their bathroom.

Once the nightmares began about his past, Aleks would begin to self-destruct. He would stop eating, stop sleeping, and eventually try to stop breathing.

The first time this happened Aleks had Eddie to help him through the panic attacks and nervous breakdowns and late night nightmares. But once Eddie quit the creatures and moved that became James' job. James had to experience this first hand. It happened about three weeks after Aleks moved in with James. He had a panic attack and James helped him through it. That night Aleks told James everything. About his past, his anxiety, depression, the nightmares, the cutting, the self-destructing. Aleks needed help and James were there to give him that. They got through it together and Aleks was healthy and happy once again.

The second person to notice Aleks' behavior was Jordan. He quickly asked James to meet him in his office the day he noticed.

"I'm guessing you noticed as well?" James asked as he leaned against the door. Jordan nodded a somber look overcoming his features.

"James you need to make sure he doesn't fall back into his old ways. James please. We can't almost lose him like we did last time. I don't want to be woken up at three in the morning to be told that my friend had tried to kill himself. Please, James. He trusts you."

James nodded. "I know. I know. I'm going to talk to him later."

Aleks, on the other hand, was sitting in his desk chair, clutching the wrist that he cut the night before. The nightmares were back and were getting worse the longer he kept it a secret. He didn't want to bother James or let anyone know he wasn't okay, knowing that the new interns had no idea about his problems.

Aleks knew that he should tell James and show him what he did, but he didn't want to trouble him. He ran his fingers along the bandages covering the lacerations on his wrists and debated going to James, but that thought soon disappeared as he heard his name being called.

"Aleksandr! Can you come to my office please?" James yelled. Aleks hesitantly got up and walked to James' office, feeling weak and tired. James was standing by the door so that once Aleks got in, he could pull Aleks into a hug. The smaller male hesitated before wrapping his arms around James as the other male rubbed his hands down Aleks' sides and exhaled.

"Let me see your wrists," James mumbled in Aleks' ear. The Russian tensed and pulled out of the hug, bringing his left arm close to his chest protectively. He took a step back and shook his head side to side causing James to frown. He slowly took a step closer to the boy, who looked like he was about to bolt out the door at any second.

"Leksi, please. You know you can trust me. I just want you to be okay." James spoke softly as he reached out to Aleks. He let out a whimper and felt a tear slide down his face. Closing his eyes, he pulled his hoodie sleeves up and held out his arms, keeping his eyes shut: not wanting to see James' disappointed look.

It only took one glance at the white bandages that had small specks of blood on them before James pulled Aleks into a tight hug. Aleks began to sob loudly, the harsh cries shook his small body against James.

"I know Leks, I know," James muttered as he ran his hands up and down the sides of the boy gripping his shirt. James slowly backed up against the wall, still holding a crying Aleks in his arms and slid down the wall so that Aleks was sitting in his lap.

Twenty minutes the already weak and tired boy fell asleep. James picked him up bridal style and walked out of his office, heading to the bear room. He passed a very confused looking Joe and Spencer on the way but before they could say anything he shook his head at them.

He placed Aleks down on the bears and the frail looking man stared up at him with worried eyes. "You rest here okay? I'll get you in an hour or two and then we can go to my house okay?" Aleks nodded and got comfortable before going back to sleep.

James called for a meeting. Once everyone was in the conference room, he began to speak. "Interns, there is something you don't know." James started out.

"Does this have anything with you carrying Aleks earlier?" Spencer asked. James nodded in his direction before continuing.

"I'm probably going to regret telling you this without Aleks' permission but you need to hear it. When Aleks was younger, he was bullied constantly after moving from Russia. His mother had died when he turned 5 and Aleks was adopted by his mother's boyfriend. He fell into a depression during his teen years. A few years later Aleks became friends with Eddie and he really was doing better until something triggered him again, causing him to fall into a pit of self-hate and depression. At that time Aleks had Eddie to help him through that but when Eddie left Aleks depended on me to help him. He moved in with me and I was there to help him with everything. He tried to kill himself about a year and a half ago. I found him in the bathroom covered in his own blood. God, there was so much blood." James felt a few tears sliding down his face as he became choked up.

Stefani had a hand over her mouth as she cried silently. Spencer and the Joe's had small tears running down their faces. Jordan and the others looked close to tears as they relived the memory to Aleks' almost death.

"O-once we got to the hospital I called Jordan and the others. Oh my god. He looked so pale and weak when they finally let us see him. The first thing he asked me is why I saved him. About three months after that Aleks moved out. Aleks is cutting again meaning he's having nightmares. I'm telling you this so you can look out for him."

James looked around the room around at the sad faces.

"And here I thought you two really hated each other," Spencer said, voice cracking as more tears slipped down his face. James smiled slightly. He loved Aleks. He cared about him more than anything.

"When Aleks was finally better we went out to celebrate. The poor kid couldn't catch a break. We went to a bar and Aleks was drugged while we weren't paying attention. He was taken and raped. We found him on our door step passed out and bleeding only in different pants and his hoodie. We all thought it was our fault. Aleks convinced us it wasn't our fault but we still felt horrible. Aleks is afraid of going out alone by himself and has never stepped foot into a bar since. I'm sorry. I'm going to take Aleks home. We will see you guys soon."

James didn't stay any longer to see the others reactions. He just wanted to get Aleks home, safe and sound with him where nothing can hurt him. he made his way back to the bar room and woke up the pale boy. "Come on Leks, let's go home." Aleks got up and pressed himself against James' side. The older male wrapped his arm around the younger and walked him to their offices to gather their things.

Before they left, Jordan stopped them and grabbed Aleks hand and pulled him into a hug. Aleks placed his head on Jordan's chest and sighed. "I love you, Aleks. We all do. Don't let the demons in your head win alright? I don't know what I'd do with my biggest fan boy." Jordan kissed Aleks' forehead and stepped back.

"See you tomorrow pretty boy." Aleks nodded and followed James out the door. James got in the driver's seat and began to drive to his house. He glanced over to Aleks, who was curled up into a little ball. Aleks let out a small sigh and closed his eyes.

-

"Aleks? Come on. You got to eat a little something." James said with a sad smile. Aleks was refusing to eat the food James prepared for the both of them. Aleks shook his head and frowned. James sighed once and again and placed his head in his hands. A tear slid down his face.

"James? J? Are you crying?" Aleks realized how him not eating was affecting his friend. Aleks felt guilty. He glanced at the soup James made and shakily picked up the spoon and ate a few scoops. "I'm sorry. I'll try to eat if it will make you happy. Sorry, I'm such a hassle to take care of." Aleks looked down at his soup as he continued to eat. He heard James sigh loudly.

"God damn it, Aleks. Don't apologize. I know it's hard. I care about you, okay? I know we fight a lot but I do want to make sure you better. You're one of my best friends and I don't want to lose you." James rubbed his hands across his face and took his empty bowl and Aleks' half full one and placed them in the sink. Before going upstairs James made sure there was enough food his own dog, Ein, plus Aleks' dog, Mishka.

"Are you sleeping in your room or mine?" James asked staring at the boy at his kitchen table. Aleks continued to walk up the stairs. Aleks quickly got up and followed close behind James.

"Um. Yours if I can. Please?" Aleks mumbled, hugging his arms around himself. James smiled.

"You don't have to ask. It's not like you never slept with me before." James started to laugh at Aleks blushing face. James took off his shirt, and pants, leaving him in his boxers. Aleks hesitantly did the same, but being careful not to hurt his bandaged wrists. He made his way to the other side of the bed and laid down next to James.

The older male wrapped his arms around Aleks's waist and brought him closer to himself. Aleks sighed in content, feeling safe from the demons inside his head when James was holding him. Over the years Aleks had known James, he couldn't help but fall for him. Aleks assumed that he would never return his feelings to him but little did Aleks know, that James felt the same.

\---

James was woken up by quiet sobs and dry-heaving. He slowly sat up, noticing that Aleks was no longer sleeping next to him. He opened his door noticing the light coming from the bathroom down the hall. He walked quickly to the room and almost broke down at the sight. Aleks was leaning over the toilet looking paler than usual. He continued to gasp and dry - heave, his body convulsing slightly. James knelt down by Aleks and rubbed his back.

Aleks continued to try and catch his breath as he placed his weight on top James, feeling weak.

"Sorry. I haven't been able to keep food down. I tired. I did. I'm sorry." Aleks whispered. James felt like crying. He slowly wrapped one arm under his legs and let Aleks wind his arms around James' neck.

\---

The next few weeks were a continuous cycle of trying to get Aleks to eat, succeeding but then having him throw it up later, then staying up with him and trying to battle the nightmares and insomnia. James was used to this cycle of pain for both of them. Thier coworkers have noticed the pair get closer to each other. Aleks spent most of his time in both James and Jordan's offices. Both kept Aleks grounded during the day where as James would handle it when they got home.

Aleks was currently sitting on James' lap, resting his head on his shoulder. James had his arms typing something on his computer.

"James?" Aleks mumbled. James stopped typing and hummed in response.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Anything."

"Promise you won't hate me?"

"Aleksandr, I could never hate you."

Aleks blushed and hesitated before speaking again.

"I like you. A lot. Not just as friends. It's okay if you don't like me. I don't know why anyone would anyway. But I just wanted you to know that I love you more than anyt-"

Aleks was cut off by a pair of lips meeting his own. Aleks closed his eyes and pressed his lips harder against James'. Aleks whimpered when James pulled away.

"I love you, Aleks. Don't ever doubt that."

~~~~~

Two months later James found Aleks bleeding in their shared bathroom. He rushed to get his phone and clicked the contact name: Tech Support.

"Jordan! Aleks, hurt himself, really bad. Call the cops. Get to my house as quick as possible!" James yelled out as he covered the open lacerations on his boyfriend's body. The deep crimson blood stood out against the pale skin, that was even whiter than usual. Aleks had his eyes slightly opened and had a blissful smile on his face. He placed a shaking hand on his panicking boyfriend's cheek.

"I love you, James. So much. I'm sorry I couldn't take it anymore. My nightmares are getting worse. I can't sleep. I'm sorry." Aleks muttered. James began to press on the bleeding wounds. Tears began to run down on his face as sobs wracked his body.

"Don't you fucking dare leave me, Aleks. What about your fans? What about Stefani and Jordan? What about the rest of the guys?" James could hear the front door slam open as sirens blared from outside.

Aleks was whisked away by the ambulance. James and Jordan followed along in their own cars, worried about what may happen to their friend.

\---

Three hours later, seven men and one female sat in the corner of the waiting room. Two nurses who sat at the desk, in front of where the large group sat talked quietly. The woman could tell the group was scared. One nurse got up and paced over to them quietly.

"Hey, I know I can't be of much help right now, but do any of you want something? Water? Any other drinks? Maybe some food? You guys have been here quite a while." She gave them concerned looks.

"I'll take some water, please." Jordan was the first to speak, a few others asking for some as well. She nodded, giving them a weary smile before heading off to get them some water. After a few more moments of silence, James spoke.

"I'm sorry guys. This is my fault. It was my job to make sure Aleks would be okay, but I failed." James couldn't stop the tears that fell from his eyes. James felt arms wrap around him and began to sob as Jordan hugged him tightly. James could feel his boss shake as he began to cry as well. The action between the two cause the rest of the group to break down. Dan held Stefani as she let out loud cries.

The two nurses could feel the tears drip down their faces as the scene played out in front of them. The few people in the waiting room felt heart broken as the group continued to cry. A young girl stood and walked over the crying group.

Everyone paused to see what she would do. Jordan and James pulled apart and looked down at the little girl who tugged at their sleeves.

"Hey there," Jordan said with a small but sad smile on his face.

"I'm sorry, your friend is hurt. My mommy has been hurting too. She's asleep. They said it's going to be a while until she wakes up. But it's okay because my brother is taking care of me. Daddy went to heaven when I was really little but mommy and Jake were okay so I know you will be too."

The little girl brought on on a new set of tears. She hugged both of the males then moved on to give the rest of the group a hug. The sad group took their seats and began to wait again. 

It wasn't until another hour later that someone came out.

"Everyone here for....Aleksandr Marchant?" The group stood abruptly and practically ran up to the doctor. He gave the men and one woman each a sad smile.

"He is stable. He's awake, just lost a lot of blood and will be very weak for a while. He keeps asking for someone named James?" James took a step forward.

"That's me." The doctor nodded and shook his hand.

"How about you come with me first and then the rest can come in. I don't think we should rush into anything. How about I take three of you?" James looked to see who wanted to come first. After some discussion, they decided that Stefani, Jordan, and James would go first; them being the closest to Aleks.

The doctor led them through the halls, straight into the private rooms where Aleks sat on the bed, eyes down cast at his folded hands. Before anyone could say anything, Stefani ran into the room and threw her arms around him, she pulled back and littered his face in kisses.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again you little asshole. I hate you so much, Aleks. God, I was so scared. I'm just happy you're okay now. " She spoke with a wavering voice. Aleks looked down, avoiding the eyes that stared at him. Jordan sighed and nudged Stefani out of the way. Without saying a word, Jordan bent down and placed a kiss on Aleks' forehead and closed his eyes as the tears began to fall. He gripped Aleks' tightly, crying into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I thought I could ignore the want but I gave in. I felt like I wasn't in control. I'm sorry guys. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm so sorry." Aleks sobbed out. Soon James took Jordan's place and hugged his boyfriend. He littered the younger's face in kisses and muttered about how scared he was.

Aleks wondered if anything would be okay after each member of the creatures gave him hugs and kisses and praise for being able to go on this long. After many tears and quiet words, a nurse came in letting them know they had to leave.

James was the only one allowed to stay for the night. With one last hug, the group filed out of the room. James took his place next to Aleks on the small hospital bed and brought the Russian close to him.

Aleks couldn't help the negative thoughts that ran through his head about causing his friends' so much pain. He wondered if they would ever be able to forgive him. What if nothing was the same anymore but as James began to run his fingers through his hair all those thoughts disappeared.

"You are my sunshine. My only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away," James let out a long breath and continued to sing softly.

"The other night dear, as I lay sleeping. I dreamt I held you in my arms. When I awoke dear, I was mistaken, and I hung my head and I cried." James sniffed and kissed Aleks, tangling his fingers in the younger's hair. When James pulled away, he rested his forehead on Aleks' and closed his eyes.

"I love you, sunshine." Aleks grinned at the nickname and soon fell asleep to the sound of James' heartbeat.

Maybe everything would be okay. With James and the others at his side, he would get over this. For them. For James. For himself.

In the end. James never lost his sunshine and he didn't plan on losing it anytime soon.


End file.
